My Matchmaker Friend

My mobile rang at 10.00am this morning while i was lying in bed, trying to finish a book. Without looking at the display, i press the receive call key.

MT : Lim Y__ P__ !!

Me: (ahh, must be my high school friend - only they will call me that, and I recognise that voice) Yes, Mrs Tan. To what do I owe the honour of this phone call?

MT: Free to talk ?

Me: (hmm... something wrong...) Wassup ? Everything okay with hubby?

MT: Of course. We are happy happy joy joy here.

Me: Then ? OH MY GOD. ARE YOU PREGNANT ???!!!!!

MT: HAHAHA. NO WAY ! I'm not ready to be a mummy. We plan for next year.

Me: So late ? You are not young already wor.

(WHY did i have to say that??! Now i'm in for a bashing...)

MT: Speaking of YOUNG , how about you? BTW, you sick ar? Got flu or wat? Why your voice so hoarse one?

Me: I'm not sick. I am just lying on my bed lah.

MT: At 10am ? You know what, my next life I want to be a sales person.

Me: I'm on holiday lah u dungu. Starting new job next week.

MT: Job Hopping again !!

Me: Look whos talking, Miss 3 jobs in one year?

MT: OK lah. I heard you busy ma. Busy until Robert call you for dates also not free wor. What are you doing at home now ? Call him la. He should be free for lunch.

Me: I'm not interested in Robert.

MT: WHY ??????

Me: His name is Robert Koh. Lobak-ko. Carrot Cake. I dunt want to be Mrs LOBAK.

MT : HAHAHAHAHA !! You are so damn choosy okay. First you dowan fat. Then you dowan too thin. Then you dowan too tall or too short. Then you want handsome and rich. Then you want can speak good english.....

Me: Those are not big requirements wot. At least I didnt ask for his bank to have 1 Million. And I didnt say i want handsome. Average looks okay lah. As for the rich part, that's bonus but not necessarily have to be rich.

MT: Robert got all the requirements wot. What u dunt like abt him?

Me: He look abit uncle-ish. Like he's balding.

MT: ARRRGHHHHHHHHHhhhh !!! He is a GEM lah...!! You give another try lah...maybe got "spark".

Me: I spark your head then u know. You dunt tell him im on holiday okay. I'm suppose to be outstation. So you keep quiet ar...

MT: I see you very active at facebook wor. Got many party photos. When you want to settle down ?

Me: When i've found THE ONE.

MT: Your THE ONE is David Beckham. He is already taken. Married with kids. Stop dreaming this instant and get ur arse up to go out with ROBERT.

Me: He is lucky i didnt blog about him. So you juz dunt mention his name ever again. I wanna puke.

MT: HAHHAHHAHAHHAA.... OK lah. Robert not ngam, i got another for you. NATHAN !!

Me: Indian ar ?

MT: Indian your backside lah. &^^$#@ !! A nice guy. My hubby's school fren.

Me: Your hubby school frens are all balding.

MT: HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA !! YAh YAH ! MY HUBBY ALSO. BUT DUNT CARE LAH. AS LONG AS THEY TREAT U WELL ....

Me: Woi, dunt shout so early in the morning. My ears cannot take it.

MT: Come, i arrange dinner this weekend at my house. Then you see for urself.

Me: Oopps i have pla....

MT: i know you dunt have plans one. Dunt lie. Just come.

ME: Stupid fool...!! i relli got plans lah. Im going IPOH. For real.

MT: Dengan siapa ?

Me: Kawan kawan. You tak tau punya.

MT: OK LAH. SO NATHAN ! I ARRANGE WHEN U COME BACK. NEXT WEEK.

Me: Sure. I'll bring Mel and pretend im a lesbian.

MT: OI !

Me: I dowan to meet any balding guy lah. Summore, have to make stupid boring conversation. Waste my makeup also.

MT: I promise Nathan is not balding lah. He is nice. I call you next week. I reach Mid Valley already. Have to see client now.

Me: Ta ta & happy making babies.

*click*


Next week, I will try my best to ignore MT's phone calls.