How to deal with Annoying People

the mooch

This is the guy who has a very close relationship with his money. Actually, he's so attached to it that he won't even use it. He'll borrow money for a table dance, he'll pretend to have lost his wallet when the bill arrives, or he simply won't be there when it's his turn to buy the next round of drinks. He always claims to be broke and constantly tries to get others to provide for him.

Solution: If it's getting out of hand, start by letting him know that you are on a tight budget too and that you can't afford to keep covering for him. If that doesn't do the trick, your only option is to take a stand. Let him know that you've reached your generosity quota and that the stream has run dry.

the showoff

This guy is not necessarily the opposite of the Mooch, but at least he won't be asking for money. This guy will never cease to brag about what he has, what he's done, or with whom he's done it. He'll demand that you pay attention to his stories, actions or possessions.

Solution: Fundamentally, he's insecure and that's why he needs you to seem interested. For him, the only way to be worth something is to surpass others in the fields where he can indeed outshine them. So you can brush him off and tell him how you feel about this annoying habit of his, but it will hurt his feelings. Do so only if he isn't a good friend otherwise.

the motor mouth

The great thing about being a man is that we can be among our male friends and not have to talk about anything irrelevant. But there are guys who suffer from this troubled personality. They talk and talk and talk and never shut up. They'll tell you about their leaky faucets, marital problems, and painful hemorrhoids. You really don't need that much information.

Solution: The easy solution is to nod and say uh-huh every once in a while to show that you're listening. Whilst you do this, think about what kind of hamburger you're going to order or how you're going to manage your next mortgage payment. Since the motor mouth is harmless, doing this will get you through the torture without making him an enemy.

the rumor mill

This annoying person will usually wind up being a woman, as guys are by and large not known gossips. Similar to the Motor Mouth, the Rumor Mill elevates yakking to an art form, by only talking about others.

Solution: Dealing with this person must be done preemptively. You have to squash the rumors before they can be used by this person as ammo and never give this chatterbox any personal information that could be spurred into gossip about you.

Get rid of a leech and tell the bully to chill...

the bloodsucker

Also known as a Leech in some circles, the Bloodsucker is one of the most infuriating personalities out there. No matter what you say to him, you're his best friend. He's absolutely convinced that you care about him as much as he cares about you. Remember Bill Murray's character in What About Bob? This guy is needy and will literally suck the life out of you.

Solution: Things can get worse when he decides to follow you around. It can even fall into the realm of stalking. If things get out of hand and he starts to seriously intrude on your personal life, set him straight. Let him know that you don't feel the same way and that he should respect your privacy and your space.

the opportunist

This person has an agenda. He may hang around you, pretend to be your friend, but deep down he is playing an angle. Perhaps he has his eye on your girlfriend or maybe he just likes to come over to your house and use your satellite TV system.

Solution: What you can do is shroud yourself in secrecy, and not let him know what's happening in your life so that he can't take advantage of it. If things go south, simply exclude him from your inner circle.

the incredible hulk

Okay, you might not actually know a guy that turns green and beefs up when he gets a paper cut. But I'm sure you know somebody who gets extremely angry, extremely fast. This guy has a temper and it might only take an ill-received comment to trigger it. This guy is dangerous because he can often get himself into more trouble than he can handle -- and take you along for the ride.

Solution: Tell him he should chill out (okay, in nicer terms) and that nobody did anything to warrant this kind of attitude. As well, don't take his outbursts personally.

the thug

The proverbial bully has a huge inferiority complex. He'll make jokes about you, get you to do things for him without any possibility of reward, and amuse himself with your pratfalls. He doesn't necessarily have anything to brag about so he'll entertain himself by tormenting those around him.

Solution: You have to realize that the Thug feeds on weakness. Like any other living organism, if you take away the nutrients, he will die. When you first realize that the person is a bully, take an immediate stand. They are like those old toy cars that drove around on their own but changed direction when faced with an obstacle. As soon as you identify the signs, set him straight and tell him you're not a pushover.

the knower of all things

Some folks are just so cocky that they think they know everything. In fact, and I'm sure you'll agree, they're the ones who are most often wrong. The reason is they are so sure of their own invulnerability that they never bother to check the facts. Only, you watch the Discovery Channel and know that aliens did not build the pyramids.

Solution: Never say: "you're wrong." Don't sink to the depths of the am-too/are-not variety. Tell him that you disagree and why. Point out explicit reasons with verifiable evidence that refute his position. Do so politely and without taking pleasure in it -- not noticeable delight anyway.